Am I a risk taker??

The futile task has remained suspended for a while due to lack of time. Specifically for the last few days of last week I had been extremely busy with work. Not that I don’t blog when I am busy, I can always pull off half an hour. But the subject that I am handling requires some thought and I have not been able to garner the time, The next part however is being documented and would be published soon.You might ask what the hell I was doing in the weekend!!! Exactly that is what I am going to describe over here in this blog.
After the visit to the casino in Genting Highlands, this weekend we gave a shot to Kuantan, a beach on the South China Sea on the East Coast of Malaysia about 300 Km from Kuala Lumpur. Relax!! I am not going to provide a boring anecdote of how beautiful the beach was, how much fun we had jumping around in the water like fifteen year olds. In fact I am going to write about the thrill of the journey. During my London stay I had those wonderful road trips. Unfortunately then, I did not know how to drive a four wheeler. I could only sit on the back seat watching the scenery and appreciating the driving skills of my friend when he reached speed as high as 210 km/hr.
This time I was up with the past experience of having driven some 300 odd kms. The amount of confidence that I had on my driving skills is anybody’s guess, for almost three fourth of those 300 km was spent in the driving school. Moreover the rickshaw-wallahs, the auto-wallahs, the porters and even the pedestrians in a Calcutta road are so much disciplined when they are on the streets that as a driver you could encounter such incidences that might leave a lasting impact of horror in your mind: at least as a novice driver. The result: I was not at all confident.
Comes last Friday, and we as a group decide to hire a car and just ‘GO’ without thinking about the destination. From here I start correlating with the title of the blog. People think I am a very calm & composed kind of person with a very stable head. A few days back a lady suddenly pointed out: he looks so composed & responsible. I describe this quality as being near “Risk Averse”. I have always been perplexed by my care-freeness inside a games field. The two simply don’t correlate. The first line that I started with in this paragraph does not correlate as well. I love that suddenness in life where you don’t know what is coming. Coming back to the trip, our destination was however decided when we got the steering in our hand. I started the journey at my usual position observing others take control. None of my companions were doing great on the wheel, showing under confidence, which gave me the confidence to try it out. The fact that it was an automatic car helped me. I wonder why the car makers in the world still persist with making models that require you to push a lever to shift the gears. It is both ergonomically & technologically the most inefficient thing that needs to be removed. I start driving and decide to keep myself on the slowest lane and not cross the 70-80 mark. Humm!!! - How can that car overtake me?? – I was getting back to myself. That me on my bike, who does not like driving below ‘80’ - even on a crowded road. I sped up and soon was at 90 – 100 driving on the mid lane, Oh common, cars were still zooming past me, I shifted to the rightmost lane and was at 110!! “Hey I have done 110 with my bike” and this is an automatic sedan I am driving!!! I pressed on the accelerator and soon I was at 150. By this time I had overtaken all those Michael Schumacher-s who had zoomed past me. My friends were freaked out; one of them was constantly rambling and shouting at me to slow down. I did not. I did not slow down at the curves. I was totally amazed at my control of the wheel. Soon I reached my top speed of 170 km/hr!!! I wanted to speed more but both the GPS system in the car and my friends did not allow me to.
The return journey was even better, for it was night. And the part of the journey when I took control of the wheels was some hilly region. If you have traveled on the Mumbai-Pune Expressway and remember the curves near the Lonavala Khandala pass, the road was similar and the curves even sharper. I did not mind, I was completely care free. I was at 120-130 and maneuvering the hair-pin curves with utmost ease. I can go on and on but must stop over here to get back to the point. Now sitting back at home when I am thinking of the journey the question that is coming to my mind is did I do the right thing? Perhaps not, but I have a certain me who likes extreme thrills in life. Who wants to do something, which normally other would not dare. I remember an instance in IIT Kanpur flight club where I was the person who feared most of heights, and it was the same me who put his hands up first when asked for a volunteer who would dare to fly up to 5000 ft in a glider. I should some time write about that once in a lifetime experience of mine.
The basic conclusion is “I am a risk taker”. Remove the few constraints in my life (my loved ones) and frankly I don’t care about the entire world. The reason I wanted to delve in this topic is because someone asked me what is the greatest quality required becoming an entrepreneur. And we concluded that one has to be a risk taker. Perhaps I can be one!!!

PS: Please don’t go away; the next part of the futile task is almost there. It has got some intricacies and I require your opinions.

Bankrupt

Currently I am bankrupt, and bankrupt for a good cause. I did not know that I am an impulsive buyer. I have actually bought my new 'advanced' key board. No offense to my old one,for that was the one that taught me how to be a musician and made my fingers nimble enough. While the old one would always be there, this new one is fantastic. It is a Roland E-09, Black Colour model. My first one Yamaha PSR-275 was a silver coloured one. While the old one looked beautiful as well, I have a penchant for black, remember my bike is a black beauty as well!!! And the amazing thing is this keyboard has some Indian rhythms loaded into it, which calls for some experimentation. Probably this time I am going to record some thing and going to pin it up over here.
Ok!! I did not stop over there, bought a reebok-T and a short, was about to buy a squash racket: postponed it. Add to that my daily food expense is almost about 25 RM, which is about 300 Rs. I am going bankrupt.
About the impulsive buyer thing: Actually I should have realized this before. Just remembering the London days when a visit to ASDA (The general store) would mean four packet full of useless articles. Some of them would actually end up in the dustbin.
Perhaps one sales girl understood this when I was returning from the mall- after getting the keyboard. She came up to me and sprayed a nice perfume on my hand which smelled beautiful!!!

Kuala Lumpur: The Beginning

I seriously need some sleep now. But still cannot resist posting my first day at Kuala Lumpur. No nothing rocking...but the first day is always a mixed bag.
I have got used to international travel but this journey was different. Could not sleep the entire journey. To add to this traveling east means I gained on time. And I seriously hated Thai Airways: Even the Air hostesses were bad. In fact there were more host.
The flow of events:
1) Confusion at KL airport: I was hurrying ahead of the other passengers to avoid the rush at the VISA check. Ended up at a dead end where some trains were running. Thought I was at the wrong place, everybody boarded the train and left. The train is the mode of travel at KL airport!!!!
2) Journey from the airport was awesome : The car zooming at 150 km/hr remembered London
3) Went out for lunch and did some hunting as well: The games are real bad. I am already missing India, London, Germany
4) Went to gym after a long time, I hope I regain my bulges at the least possible time and bring in more.
5) Had dinner at an Indian restaurant as if I am missing Indian food for a long long time. I sometimes feel this longing, missing are such mind games.

Tomorrow morning I would be back at office. The workplace seemed cool from outside. I hope the work turns out good as well.

Chennai Episodes

It is my last week here in Chennai. And it occured to me why don't I write down all the places of outing that I visited weekend wise. No description would be provided. This blog is only meant to substitute my memory. :)

1) (one day weekend) : Dublin
2) (Two day weekend) : Bike & Barrels, Sleep
3) (one): Ten Downing Street [**Black Out]
4) (Two): Ten Downing Street, Mahabalipuram, Kayaking
5) (One): Sparkz, Avik's Aunts place
6) (Two): Pondicherry
7) (One): Bike & Barrels, Night out on rooftop [I lose my watch :(]

This helps me releasing some of the bytes from my memory cells. Oho I should also write down the movies that I saw during this time ( In order)

1) Paying guest [Left the hall midway]
2) Nuyork [Yak]
3) Hangover [Awwzzzome]
4) Ice Age 3D [Great]
5) Short Cut [Torture]
6) The proposal [Source of the feel good factor]
7) Love aajkaal [Sailed through inebriated]

What more to remember : Yes the nights at the beach, long walks, Card sessions, Mafia Sessions, Random anger rush, Blur, Cribs, Excel Sheet updates, Shubham's B'Day, Stories cooking up/rising from no where, pulling legs of people during card games....
I admit the last 7 weeks have been awesome fun. You enjoy certain periods of your life when frankly you are least expecting. :).
Chennai Rawkkdddd!!!!

The Feel Good Factor (The Internal Variables)

It is monday morning, I have loads of work to do, Running body temperature, to add to that I had a great weekend. So what do you think my feel good factor would be?
The internal variables frankly is much more complex and unlike the external variables don't vary much from person to person. A sub-note over here: I hope by now you all have understood that the feel good factor I am talking about is on the relative sense. That is a positive effect of these variables would take you forward in the happiness scale but won't mean you are really happy.
Every moment a human being's mind is being marauded with hundreds of thoughts. Starting from the excess cash that he spent last night, the short handedness that he showed with the autowallah or even the breakfast that he had. So basically the mind at any moment exists in an n-dimensional space. I can't stress enough the importance of this 'n' over here. Let me put it in a functional form.
n = function(individual, time)
Gautam Buddha (or for that matter anyone who attended nirvana) in his earlier life was stressed by a number of questions. At that time this 'n' for him was high, but at his later life after 'realization' this 'n' was small. So a higher 'n' is a bigger constraint to happiness. How you decrease this 'n' is altogether a different question. At every moment 'n-1' of these variables form a nebula around the mind and only one variable is dealt directly. In fact the mind has its own way of dealing with the nebula or the factor in hand. And here comes the concentration factor. Once again let me quantify the mind.

state of mind = CF*function(Variable 'n') + (1 - CF)*function (Nebula 'n-1')

points: CF = Concentration Factor
The n'th variable keeps changing.

The mind of a 'Sanyasi" who has just started his journey towards attending nirvana is absolutely similar to a layman. Slowly he starts increasing his concentration power. (I am not sure how he does it). Ideally he tries to reach a stage where CF = 1, After this it is just about controlling the variable that is affecting his mind. That variable should be a happiness variable to him. More importantly that variable itself is not determined by other variables. For someone it is GOD, at the other extreme there are the drug addicts. I hope you have got the hang of it. Of course these two factors: God, Drugs they themselves can never be unhappy. But if your sole variable is lets say one of your family members, the hypotheses does not stand for they themselves are affected by so many other factors. Perhaps this is the reason a monk would never talk about his family.
I can't finish talking about the concentration factor so soon. Certain times without you knowing your CF would be really high. Lets take the example of all the CAT or IIT JEE takers. For the serious people they put a lot of energy into these two exams. Automatically the CF is high. So when you get a favourable result in these exams, other variables don't matter, you just feel happy about it and you know how bad it is in case of a failure. Similar is my story when I play volleyball. Invariably my CF is high. And thus you know why I am always happy in the court because I never lose :).
A disgusting note but worth it: Can you now tell me why you feel so happy after shit?
For the not so gifted ones. For whom the mind is mostly a nebula and the CF most of the times is less than 0.7, dissecting happiness is real difficult. I don't even dare. But thee are certain instances when a small thing suddenly makes you happy. A "sorry" from someone who behaved badly with you may be. These are instances that dissipates your nebula without your knowledge. Thus one variable that was bugging your inner mind suddenly disappears. Or say you help a child in need. In that case your nebula actually gets thickened, but since it is the positive note you get happy. As a next step if you find that the same child actually be fooled you by taking the money you get twice upset. This is because your nebula is already denser and the sadness part has just crept in.
Hupps enough of it .. If someone manages to creep through all these bull shit, I thank him.
Another disgusting note this time with respect to the nebula cloud: Can you tell me how is your nebula cloud behaving the day you did not have a good morning pass :). Hey now you are thinking: How such small things can affect you and your happiness.

The Feel Good Factor: The External Variables

Sometimes I feel that I should have been a Happiness Consultant rather than a Growth Consultant. No I am not claiming that I am eternally in the bliss, but I think my funda about being happy is sometimes good. ( A growth consultancy service provider itself is not perennially on the growth track ..Right??) or (A strategy Consultant does not always get his/her strategies right :) )
So what are the variables that makes one happy. Frankly the question is absolutely subjective. While you and me might be happy gaping in a Goa beach , she might not :). Got the twist!!!
So, let me quantify my feel good factor (I need a consultancy fee for others). There are two broad groups of variables: Internal ( You can say random factors ) and External. It would be easy delving into the external factors first in this blog. The internal factors would be coming in the next blog. It is a different subject matter altogether.
I would first write down a few things that no matter what makes me happy (feel good is a more apt state of mind). Based on those I would try to figure out the variables.
1) A room with my keyboard. And a few sad romantic, 'contemplating' songs. (Yes sad!!!)
2) A ground with a 2 meter high net and a round object called a volleyball with 11 others like me.
3) A long walk through metalled/non-metalled road crossing lakes, forests, paddy fields, (the environment has to be cool and serene)
4) A night out of random bakar with Sushil, Sushant, Gregory talking about the futility called Life, Music, etc... (The names are more figurative in nature)
5) Writing a good blog, reading it myself again and again ( I am a "Megalomaniac" to a few and they are correct...It is like the queen looking at herself in the mirror and enjoying her own beauty )
6) A long talk over the phone with some friend and giving him/her a nice speech on life, trying to set everything correct and then feeling good thinking I am such a philanthropist (God knows what they actually think of me..a pain in the a** may be).
7) Some good food by my grand mom (I am homesick :(( )
8) Jadoo Ki jhappi of my mom
9) Solving an intricate 'x' puzzle (x = Mathematics, Statistics, Finance, Physics, Economics)

.... Pause .......

Hupps.. I have taken a good 5 mins after writing the last point searching helplessly if I could find the tenth thing that make me feel good. The list is small. So the next step is to identify the variables.
Without getting into the reasons I am just listing the variables over here.
Feeling Good (me) = Function( external(music, games, walk, blog, bakar, fundas on life, grand mom, mom, brainteasers), internal (???))
So these variables externally create a complex interaction to make me feel good. Anyone thinks there might be some other forces at work as well??

A feel good factor: Part I

Have I deviated from my last promise?
Could not help. Know what..For the last two weeks I have been trying to write a blog on a potpourri of topics. Freewill, my Kayaking expedition, night outs in Chennai....
But somehow I would not be able to sustain the tempo. And frankly I don't like writing a blog that lack the punch, the x-factor :).
Let me try explaining the situation through a musicians perspective (The not so musical readers pardon me). It is like when you are trying to strike the right chord you know you are playing it correct but something is missing. You think it is the C-major (or minor may be). You are pressing the three notes correctly, but you feel hey!! I am just not there. Then suddenly you find that if you add that extra odd note (the fourth key). Making it C-Major 7th or C-minor 9th ... you say aha!!! My situation has been something like that. Though I wanted to pour my heart out in writing on Freewill or kayaking the fourth note was missing. And yesterday while watching the movie "The Proposal", feeling good, being randomly happy ..I felt Hey!! isn't that the thing I just love writing on. The random things in life that make you happy.
So I dedicate this blog to those who just want to be happy. Today is a day when I have thousands of things to do, but still I want to blog. Just because I am feeling happy. The Part II of this blog would give in the details. Till then just randomly keep on feeling good...HAPPY!! The feel good factor for me today is high..!!!